


Confidence is a Preference

by CookieDoughMe



Series: Tell Me [2]
Category: Haven (TV)
Genre: Borrowed Title, Multi, Post-Troubles (Haven), Reference to Temporary Major Character Death, Threegulls, Voyeurism, post-series(ish)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-12
Updated: 2017-02-12
Packaged: 2018-09-23 19:48:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9673415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CookieDoughMe/pseuds/CookieDoughMe
Summary: In a post-Troubles, post-series(ish) world, after Nathan and Audrey invite Duke into their bed, Nathan realises that if this new relationship is going to work, it might require more communication than he had at first realised.Follows on fromI Could Stand To See a Little More, but you don't necessarily need to read that first.The title here is from the opening line of the blur song Parklife. Just because at some point while I was trying to work out what to call this, I listened to it for the first time in years and when that oh-so-familiar first line kicked in, it made me literally laugh out loud: “Confidence is preference for the habitual voyeur of what is known as … ”





	

Nathan finished the last of his paperwork and looked out the window. With the Troubles over and Haven now the quiet little town it was always meant to have been, the caseload had dropped right off, and the work they did have was often not the crazy life or death stuff it might have been a year or two ago.

This was a good thing of course, but one of the consequences was that him and Duke weren't thrown together in some new emergency every other day and in fact he hadn't seen him since … since the morning after he’d fallen asleep on the other side of Audrey and they’d woken up to find Duke had already left.

It didn't seem like Duke's style somehow and Nathan was still puzzling over it. They had all had fun after all. Hadn't they? He knew he had, just the memory of the sight of Duke and Audrey kissing was enough to distract him enough that he tried hard not to think about it. But now, in his office alone at the end of the day, he let himself be thoroughly distracted for a moment, with the memory of watching Duke and Audrey together, their bodies moving over the bed in front of him, their hands on each other as he watched, the occasional moment of eye contact, the occasional spoken word. And then of Audrey moving above him, feeling her skin for himself at last even as he watched her still, with Duke looking on from the other side of the bed. And reaching out at the last minute to grab Duke's hand, feeling their fingers crunch together at the last moment as he finally …

He tried to shake himself out of it, turning back to the last of the paperwork, but he couldn't concentrate. Because the fact was that in this new Trouble-free world, they might go for weeks now without seeing each other unless one of them made the effort.

He was due to be meeting Audrey in the Gull later. He looked at the clock; if he left now, he would be an hour early. He stood and grabbed his coat on the way out the door, leaving the paperwork strewn across his desk and a pen rolling forgotten off the edge.

-

It was still quiet in the Gull when he got there. A few tourists at tables outside, braving the weather for the views; a few locals dotted around inside, valuing the warmth over the scenery. Duke was polishing glasses behind the bar when Nathan sat on the stool in front of him and asked, “Join me in a drink?”

Duke looked at Nathan as he kept polishing. “Bit early for you to be drinking.”

“So don’t make me do it alone.”

“Don’t you have Audrey for that?”

Nathan opened his mouth to reply then stopped, forcing himself to provide a considered response rather than falling back into old habits of sarcastic snarking.

“She’ll be here later,” he acknowledged. “But I’m here to talk to you.”

“OK,” replied Duke cautiously and picked up another glass. “Well I can work and talk at the same time.”

Nathan sighed and took a look around for who was in earshot; no one probably and certainly no one he knew. “The other night doesn’t have to be a one-time thing you know.”

Duke studied him for a moment, apparently waiting if Nathan was going to add anything else.

“Are you asking me out on a date? Or am I just the entertainment?”

“You’re not ‘just’ anything,” Nathan replied.

At Duke’s dubious look, Nathan realised what was going on. “You know it wasn’t just about the sex, right? That wouldn’t have happened with anyone else. Ever.” Nathan shook his head at him, a little exasperated at Duke's lack of a reaction, “We were surprised to find you gone in the morning. We … I missed you being there. And if you’re not interested, that’s fair enough and I won’t push it, but don’t think for a second that I don’t care or that you don’t matter or something.”

Duke finally put down the cloth and the glass he was polishing and turned directly to Nathan. “I just …” but he stopped there.

“I don’t know how to do this, you know,” Nathan said, frustrated. “Whether to feel bad that I left it a week or to be annoyed that you were just gone. I don’t know about you, but I’ve never done anything like that before.”

Duke shrugged a kind of acknowledgment, but he didn’t say anything.

“Have you?” Nathan asked.

“I’d rather not have that conversation right now.”

“OK,” replied Nathan, trying not to sound too curious. “But I’m trying to say that it was fun, but it wasn’t just fun.”

Duke nodded an agreement.

“So, why were you gone?”

“I was gone because …. I was gone in case you figured it was a mistake. In case you woke up embarrassed and ashamed and regretting your uncharacteristic impulsiveness and … “ Duke hesitated, fiddling with the cloth that now rested on the bar. “I just didn’t want to see that look on your face,” he finished at last.

Nathan looked at him for a minute, taking his words in. Then he moved his hand, fingers reaching forward along the bar towards Duke's. “Then let me spell it out; I don’t regret a moment of it. The memory’s been distracting me all week. I came here to make sure you knew that.”

Duke held his gaze for a moment, then dropped his eyes to Nathan’s hand resting on the bar. He seemed about to say something when he saw Audrey walking up to them.

“I was just explaining to Duke that he was more than just a sex toy,” Nathan said as she reached them and was glad that Duke saw her reaction.

“Is that what you think?” she asked, horrified. Duke managed to nod, shrug and shake his head all at the same time, apparently unsure now what to think.

“OK, come upstairs so we can talk properly,” Audrey said, in a determined enough voice that Duke responded by simply calling back to the kitchen to let Nora know he was heading out and then following Audrey and Nathan upstairs.

-

“Sit,” said Audrey as they reached her apartment, “I’m pouring drinks.”

“I’m sorry if you felt used,” Nathan said to Duke. “That was never the intention.”

Duke nodded, “I’m getting that. I … maybe I should have said something.”

There was a little pause as Audrey joined them with drinks, “OK, I would like to say something, because I want it to be clear. Duke, you mean more to us than anyone. I wouldn’t normally talk for Nathan like that, but I know it’s true. And your history with him is more complicated that I will ever fully understand, but that’s part of it. And our history - yours and mine - that’s part of it too. I had a lot of fun the other night, but it wasn’t just fun. And I would like to think we will do something like that again, but even if we don’t - it meant something. And you mean everything to us.”

Duke had his eyes on his drink as she spoke, but he looked up as she finished and then to Nathan to see him nodding his agreement with her. And he watched them for a moment before looking back to his drink, “Well now I’m starting to feel like an idiot.”

“No,” said Nathan firmly, shaking his head. “We should have made sure you understood. I don’t know how to do this. I’m not even sure what ‘this’ is. But I know it’s something. When I …” he stopped for a minute, to gather his thoughts and was glad that they both let him, waiting in a comfortable silence for him to carry on. “When you died, I thought I’d lost you forever.” He shook his head and took a breath. “You’d think I’d know what numb feels like, but that was a whole new level. Audrey's right in what she said and I … I know you two have loved each other for a long time, but I should have been clearer. I shouldn't have left it this long to have this conversation, it's just … this might just take a bit of getting used to;  I've never been with a guy. I've never done anything like that.”

“Have you?” Audrey asked Duke, suddenly curious. “Been with a guy before I mean?”

Duke shrugged, “Nothing serious. And to answer your question from earlier Nate, yes, I've had three in a bed before, but again nothing serious and maybe that’s why I was so quick to assume this couldn’t be.”

They kept talking until they got hungry and Duke phoned down to the kitchen for some food. As they talk and ate and drank, the mood shifted from serious and a little guilt-ridden to comfortable and curious. And they slowly worked out their own thoughts as they went. They talked about what they felt and what they meant; what they were sure of and what they weren’t. And Nathan found himself saying much more than he’d intended, and valuing every word.

“I guess,” offered Duke at one point, “I guess I was having trouble believing that you would just come right out with something like that. I mean that you hadn’t talked about it before; that you hadn’t planned it.”

“We hadn’t planned it,” Audrey said.

“OK, but - that surprises me about him.”

Audrey nodded and they both looked at Nathan.

Nathan shrugged, “Fair point. It wasn’t like me I guess. But I saw you flirting and it struck me how happy you both looked. And it also struck me that not so long ago, that would have made me jealous; afraid that I would lose you - both of you - afraid that I would be left alone.”

“So what’s different now?” asked Audrey.

“That fear has gone. We are more than that.”

And she smiled and took his hand, and then she reached for Duke’s too.

-

Later, the fire lit and the food cleared away, they sat with their drinks and Audrey asked the question they had been skirting around all evening. “So, are we going to do something like that again? Because I for one vote yes, but obviously it’s not - I don’t want to pressure anyone into anything, and it doesn’t have to be now.”

“Well, I vote yes too,” said Duke. “Any time you like, whatever you like.”

“Yes, I … yes. Something, but …” He stopped to gather his thoughts, grateful for the umpteenth time that day that they were willing to let him do that. “Watching, yes. But I’m not yet sure about joining in.”

“That’s OK,” assured Audrey. “Though I also wouldn’t complain if that changed. But, when you were watching us you weren’t just watching me, right? You were watching him too.”

Nathan hesitated for the briefest moment, “I was.”

“And that surprises you?” she asked.

“I’ll get over it, but yeah. It kinda does.” He turned to Duke as he said, “I just need some time to adjust. You don’t though,” he realised.

“Remember the other night when I asked you if it was all a joke? That was me adjusting.”

“Right, but I mean, in terms of your own feelings.”

“It’s not as new a thought as you obviously think, Nate. I adjusted long ago.”

“You …?”

“Yes, I fancy you too, if that’s what you’re asking. If you want me to spell it out for you, I think you’re gorgeous. I mean I never thought about it much before because it never crossed my mind that it would ever be a possibility, but, yeah.”

“Huh,” managed Nathan.

“It’s not so surprising,” said Audrey gently, but Nathan didn’t respond and she realised she should let him take the time for it to sink in.

“You know,” offered Duke thoughtfully, “There’s other ways you could be more involved, besides literally joining in.”

“How do you mean?” Audrey asked.

“Last time he, er … he provided a suggestion which, seemed to work out well.” Duke turned to Nathan, “You could tell us what you want to see.”

Nathan started to nod, then frowned, “Shouldn’t all come from me though.”

“Well, we wouldn’t do anything we didn’t want to,” said Audrey easily. “And also we, er … we could tell you what we did want to do and see if you agree; ask your permission.”

Nathan took a long and slightly ragged breath in, “That works,” he said. Audrey smiled at his understated response, and turned to Duke with a questioning look.

“For the record,” said Duke earnestly, “I am always in favour of anything which puts that look on his face.”

Audrey grinned at him and turned back to Nathan. “It is a nice expression,” she said, studying him. “And on such a nice face.”

“Not a combination I thought I’d ever see,” said Duke. “Like when he …”

“OK,” Nathan cut in, uncomfortable with the idea of them describing him to each other, “Perhaps that’s enough talking for today.”

They stopped and looked at him curiously.

Nathan felt his heart beat kick up a notch as he said, “I wanna see you two make out.”

Audrey heard the edge to his voice which made the sentence into an instruction and something inside her thrilled at the sound. She shared a glance with Duke across the coffee table and thought she saw the thrill in his eyes too.

Duke put his drink down as he said, “Sounds like a fine idea to me. Which of us is moving?”

“Both of you,” Nathan answered. “Stand by the fire.”

Audrey stood and watched the flames for a moment as Duke joined her, hearing Nathan's voice again as she reached for Duke, this time that edge to it gone as he simply commented, “I just love to see you kiss.”

And so they did. Slowly, gently, softly at first, hands on waists and arms, bodies moving around each other as Nathan put his empty glass down on the table and settled back into the sofa.

It wasn’t too long though before Duke spoke, his hands reaching under the edge of Audrey’s shirt as he said to Nathan, “I wanna lose some clothes.”

“Just to the waist,” came the reply. “Let me see you kissing topless in your jeans.”

Duke pulled his t-shirt over his head and threw it casually behind him where it landed on the other end of the sofa from Nathan; just far enough away to be out of reach, just close enough to be noticed. Nathan wondered how deliberate that was.

Duke moved to help Audrey with her buttons and gently pushed her shirt back from her shoulders to land on the floor behind her. She undid her bra at the back, while he slowly pulled the straps down her arms, fingertips brushing her skin so softly it made her shiver.

Audrey ran her fingertips down his chest as they kissed, and Nathan watched entranced as the soft light of the fire danced over their skin. They looked beautiful together in the flickering light, hands moving over muscles, arms shifting back and forth to hold and to caress. Part of the beauty was in the contrast they made. Duke’s tall body, lean muscles and strong shoulders against Audrey’s soft curves; hips and waist and breasts.

They pulled their bodies together and he watched her breasts press against Duke’s chest, then she moved back and he watched her body in the firelight again.

“Touch her chest.”

Duke moved first one hand, then the other to softly cup Audrey’s breasts. She moaned into their kiss as his fingers pushed against the curves of her skin and a thumb pressed down on a nipple. Nathan watched as Duke’s sun-and-sea-weathered hands ran firmly over smooth, pale skin and as his fingers pushed her breasts against her.

“Audrey what does that feel like?” Nathan wondered.

And they drew out of their kiss, but she struggled to answer, “I, er .. soft and close and sexy and …” Then Duke bent to kiss her neck and she fell silent again.

“Run your fingernails down his spine.”

And Duke arched his back as she did, fingernails pressing against skin with just enough pressure for him to feel it, drawing down his spine and the muscles of his back and drawing a sharp breath out of Duke.

Apparently unhappy with the distance his movement put between them, Audrey pulled him back closer to her and he took his hands to her back to repeat her movement on her. As his fingers ran down her spine he bent to kiss her collarbone, between her breasts. She closed her eyes and leant her head back, breathing into the sensations of his touch. And as his fingers found the small of her back he kissed a nipple and she was glad his hands were there to take some of her weight as she stopped paying attention and leant back almost far enough to fall.

“Let’s move to the bed,” she suggested, “before I forget how to stand.”

Nathan felt his stomach flip as they looked to him for permission. He just replied, “Lose the rest of your clothes on the way then.”

And so they did, pulling at belts and buttons, kicking off shoes and scattering socks behind them as they went. As they reached the bed, Audrey pushed Duke gently down on his back in front of her, following him onto the bed to sit straddled above him.

Duke rested his hands on her hips as he looked up at her. “Tell us why you like to watch,” he asked Nathan, who paused for a moment on his way to the chair by the bed.

“I, um. It’s a nice view,” Nathan said as he sat down and for a moment Duke thought that was all the detail they were going to get, but then he added. “And, it’s something that tends to be private, so to share it is, kinda special. And, it’s like …” he shrugged, “it’s like the longest tease.”

“The longest tease, huh?” echoed Duke, sounding interested as he shared a look with Audrey. Nathan wondered what ideas that look was leading to, but now was not the time to think about it, because Audrey was leaning down to kiss Duke, her hair falling over his face as Duke’s hands reached up to run his fingers through it and along her neck.

Audrey set her hands on Duke’s chest to push herself upright, pressing him down into the bed. “Nathan?” she said, “Pass us a condom? I would like to fuck Duke now.”

And while he was barely closer to the draw by the bed than she was, Nathan noticed the look on Duke’s face as he got up to pass her what she wanted. “You put it on him,” he said as he handed it to her, and he watched Duke’s face as she did, kept his eyes on his as she moved over him, surrounding him. Duke closed his eyes until Nathan told him, “Keep your eyes open, Duke.”

And he was glad he wasn’t asked why, because he was not sure he’d be able to explain. But the look on Duke’s face, the pleasure but also the wonder and the love, was kind of intoxicating. Even as he realised it was probably the exact same expression he would wear himself.

And so as Audrey moved above him, Nathan’s attention was drawn by Duke’s face. Even as he watched Audrey too; the curve of her back in her position on top of Duke, the look on her face as well, the shifts of her breasts as she moved and the way she leant on her hands to push Duke into the mattress. For his part he lay there and did as he was told; his eyes on hers, too enraptured to do anything but feel.

And Nathan watched the moment between them as Duke came, their eyes locked on each others as Audrey’s fingers pushed into his chest and his hands reached up to grab her hips.

-

She leant down to kiss him before she moved away from him and as Duke got rid of the condom, Audrey said, “So what now?”

“I have a suggestion,” Duke cut in before Nathan could answer.

“Oh?” asked Nathan, curious.

“I undress you so that Audrey can fuck you.” He held up a hand in recognition of Nathan’s stated reluctance, “I won’t touch anything but your clothes.”

Without even looking directly at her, Nathan was very aware that Audrey approved of this idea. But he appreciated that she didn’t say anything; just let him think. He considered what he was wearing; shirt, jeans. “OK,” he said, his heart beating madly in his chest, and only partly from apprehension.

He shifted forward on the chair to stand up, but Duke stopped him, “Don’t move yet.” And he got off the bed to kneel in front of Nathan and untie his shoelaces. Nathan looked at Duke kneeling naked in front of him and was surprised how much his stomach flipped at the sight.

Duke slipped off Nathan’s shoes and socks, then stood and gestured for Nathan to stand as well. Standing so close together Nathan could feel the heat coming off his skin. Duke looked him square in the eye for a moment before shifting his attention to his shirt buttons, slowly, carefully, undoing them one by one, before pulling the shirt open across his chest.

They shared another look as they stood there and Nathan half-expected Duke to go against what he’d said and put a hand on Nathan’s skin. But the moment stretched and he didn’t move, so Nathan went to shrug the shirt off his shoulders.

“Ah,” said Duke, in warning or protest, and walked behind Nathan to pull the shirt from his arms himself. He walked back around the other side of him and if anything stood even closer still this time, reaching for Nathan’s belt to undo it and pull it from its loops, watching Nathan’s face carefully as he did so.

The belt gone, Duke watched what he was doing again, careful fingers undoing first one button and then another until his flies were undone, pushing no harder against the fabric than he needed to. He looked back up again, studying Nathan’s face for a moment. Duke held his gaze as he moved, breaking eye contact only at the last minute as he sank down to his knees in front of him.

Nathan felt his breath coming hard out of his lungs, his heartbeat thudding in his chest and his blood rushing through every part of him at the sight of Duke moving down in front of his chest to his stomach, his groin. Duke pulled the waist of Nathan’s jeans out and away, pulling them over his hips and towards the floor.

Nathan stood there, not moving, only the thin cotton of his underwear and not more than a few inches separating his erection from Duke’s lips. And he realised that maybe he wasn’t quite so far away from getting physical with Duke as he’d thought.

“Sit back down,” Duke suggested, before pulling his jeans off his feet. He stood up and stepped back to sit on the bed. “I think I’ll have to leave the rest to you Audrey; he’s all yours,” true to his word, he’d touched nothing but Nathan’s clothes.

Nathan looked a little stunned as he sat there, but Audrey didn’t leave him waiting for long. Pausing only to throw a quick grin a Duke, she stood up and put a hand out to Nathan, pulling him up to stand with her. She wrapped her arms around his waist and pressed her palms against his skin as she pushed her fingers slowly under the waistband of his underwear. She kept going, squeezing his ass as she pulled his body to hers, then pushed his last item of clothing down his legs.

“How about you lie on the bed for me?” she asked. He kicked off his underwear as he stepped around her, lying down while she took a condom from the drawer. The condom on, she moved to straddle him, pressing his chest down against the mattress as she had with Duke. She leant down to kiss him, but stopped short, teasing him with her lips just out of reach of his as she held him in place with her weight. Her body moved above him, hips teasing too as she made him wait. And he watched her still, hands resting lightly on her legs, letting her take the lead even as his body strained towards her.

He closed his eyes though as she finally brought her hips down to his, giving up on watching in favour of feeling her body as she fucked him, her cunt sliding over his cock until he could hardly breath.

“Wait, I … wanna watch you come first,” he breathed.

She smiled as she stopped moving, pressing her body tight to his as she took hold of his hand to pull his fingers towards her clit. And he focused on her as his fingertips found the slick skin between her legs, making her gasp despite the awkward angle. And though she didn't move again, her breaths and her moans and the look on her face as she came would easily have been enough to take him over the edge with her, even without the feel of her muscles clamping down around his cock.

-

A few minutes later, Audrey lay on her back in the middle of the bed, her boys either side of her as they pressed their bodies together and draped their arms across her.

Duke said, “I have a suggestion for another time.”

“Oh?” asked Audrey  sounding pleased.

“I hold him down - or, back or something - so you can properly tease him.”

“Interesting idea,” she replied.

After a little pause came a cautious agreement from Nathan, “So it is.”

Audrey smiled, she would leave it there for now, no sense pushing. She was happy and warm and snuggled up to her two favourite guys. She had no complaints.

Although maybe she did have just one, “Two arms together is too heavy on my stomach.” And she reached for their arms, rearranging them a little, so that Nathan’s hand went to her hip and Duke’s arm lay along her ribs.

Duke let his arm be moved around, and found to his surprise that his hand ended up on Nathan's arm. Trusting that Nathan would tell him (or simply move out of the way) if it bothered him, Duke slowly rested his fingers down on the other man's skin, and was pleased to find Nathan seemed quite happy to let him, even as Duke’s thumb stroked back and forth across his skin as they started to fall asleep.

-

“Duke,” Nathan asked, “Just so we know, are you going to be here when we wake up?”

“Yeah,” came the simple reply. And then after a moment, “As long as neither of you snore.”

Nathan just huffed a quiet little huff, and Audrey smiled at the two of them as she drifted quickly off to sleep.

 


End file.
